HUH?

Okay so a friend sent me part of Stephen Hawking's explanation of the new theory on information escaping from black holes:

"The Euclidean path integral over all topologically trivial metrics can
be done by time slicing and so is unitary when analytically continued
to the Lorentzian. On the other hand, the path integral over all
topologically non-trivial metrics is asymptotically independent of the
initial state. Thus the total path integral is unitary and information
is not lost in the formation and evaporation of black holes. The way
the information gets out seems to be that a true event horizon never
forms, just an apparent horizon."

Oh, why, yes Stephen, now it all makes perfect sense!
I can't wait until he writes his next book though, he's such a P-I-M-P.

Hey, PIMP can stand for "Physically Immobile Master of Physics"!

God help me.

Not to be a pessimist, but...

I’m usually a sponge for unfortunate maladies, particularly viruses—I invariably catch whatever bug happens to be going around. However, this summer is different. Every single one of my friends have fallen ill with a vicious virus that has left them bedridden and feeble—but I’m still well.

This has led me to the conclusion that the virus is sentient, and evil. It has already infected me but is waiting for the precise minute I step foot onto Thai soil to release itself into my cells.

Then it will infect Tim, who will thus be unable to carry my heavy bags of new clothes, which will break loose and fall into the beautiful Andaman sea, whereupon the bag I put them in will break and be eaten by the last of a species of endangered whale, suffocating it. The whale will beach itself on Patong Beach and officials will find it, with my name tag attached, along with various other sea mammals strangled by G2000-brand clothing (including a rare and venomous sea snake), drag me in to Thai prison, and that will be the end of me.

Escape plan #56 has been aborted.

Last week Stephen Hawking declared at the International Conference of General Relativity and Gravitation that his theory on the disappearance of matter in black holes—a position he has held for 30 years—is wrong.

Remember how all matter is supposed to disappear forever into a black hole when it is formed (when a star collapses into itself) and then after using up all its energy, the black hole dissipates? And that any matter that passes the event horizon (the threshold after which it becomes pulled into the gravitational field of the black hole) is forever lost? Well according to Hawking’s new theory, all matter is in fact not lost in black holes—it does escape and return to the universe, albeit in a mangled form.

This solves the conundrum facing scientists for the past 30 years—the impossibility of reconciling Hawking’s previous theory with a basic rule of quantum theory—that information cannot be destroyed. Hawking’s previous model attempted to explain this problem by postulating that the information sucked into black holes was not destroyed, but possibly sucked into a parallel universe.

So if it’s true, Hawking’s new theory, while solving the problem of where the disappearing matter goes, also extinguishes the hopes of a world of science-fiction geeks like myself: there is no longer a possibility of traveling through parallel universes in space-time by jumping into a black hole. Damn, there goes my plan of escape from law school.

I haven’t been able to find articles that explain his new theory on a more academic level—particularly, since the concept of the event horizon is now extinguished, what about the concept of a singularity? Event horizons lead back, the old theory went, inexorably to a singularity, a single point in space-time where all information was forever locked. Are there no singularities anymore either? The new theory seems to imply this, no? If so, then what of the Big Bang (which is supposed to have originated, as all universes are, as a singularity in space-time)? Does this mean we are moving on to string theory and never looking back? What about Michio Kaku's theories on hyperspace, are some of them discounted if this new model proves more convincing? I’d really like to know. If any of you see interesting articles on the subject, I'd appreciate you sending them my way.

......ZZZzzzzZzz.....

I just got this email from my future roommate, who just woke up from a nightmare and then went online, only to read my description of my nightmare and get even more scared:

tsk tsk tsk,
Karen, are you telepathically sending me nightmares??? dream about
being stuck in a room with Paul Newman, Sean Connery, and a giant
chocolate cake tonight, please.

Does anyone else find the above mental image mildly horrifying?

Dream last night

I barely slept last night. I was up until at least 4:30am tossing and turning in bed, almost suffocated by the fumes of my hair dye, with an endless soundtrack of 70's disco inexplicably running through my brain, and the image of an astonishing 4-panel painting I saw a few days ago flashing in my head. Not fun.

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of a lawyer very angrily climbing endless stairs.

What could this mean?

For some strange reason though I am not tired today. Did I dream the tossing and turning too?

Book Reviews

So far this summer, I've read:

Ghostwritten, by David Mitchell
I just had to mention this again. Genius.

The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum
Funny and witty, but more chi-chi than the Bad Girl series. I prefer the Bad Girl books to this book.

Girl With a Pearl Earring, by Tracy Chevalier
Wanted to see what the hype was all about. I have no idea how they could have made a movie out of this, as I found it rather bleh. A very fast read though, and not too boring. Just not riveting or very intellectually stimulating.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, by Michael Chabon
Won the Pulitzer prize. Amazing use of language, but rather long.

Sputnik Sweetheart, by Haruki Murakami
Murakami is the newest addition to my favorite authors list! His writing is somehow simultaneously sparse and rich, his descriptions haunting, the plots unexpected, twisting the boundaries of time and space---reading him makes you wonder: is this me, sitting here, reading this book, is this reality? His storylines remind me of Borges's Labyritnos.

I'm currently reading Murakami's Dance, Dance, Dance, and enjoying each and every word. I'd recommend reading him as much as reading David Mitchell, Steven Pressfield, and--dare I say it? Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Sherry's arrived!

I'm so happy! This is the longest we have ever been apart, so seeing her again after so long was such a joy. She looks radiant, and at 6 months you can definitely see the belly but the rest of her looks amazing, you wouldn't be able to tell she's pregnant from behind.

When we first met up she didn't even recognize me even though I was 10 feet away running toawrds her and waving like a maniac. I think it's the short purple hair. I wonder if the same thing will happen when Tim gets here.

The dye is starting to wash out of my hair, and turned my ears purple.

You know you're the laughing stock of the nation when...

All your political opponent has to do in his campaign ad is post a picture of you:

.

Nightmare

 
I had a most scary dream last night. I very rarely have nightmares, but when I do I get really shaken by them:

I was sitting with Didi on her bed, talking. The layout of the hotel was different, and from where we were sitting we could see into Lisa’s room. As we peered over, one of us (I think it was me) asked "Hey, who’s that kid in Lisa’s room?" Standing just beyond the doorway of Lisa’s room, looking toward her bed, was a small boy with a shaved head, wearing a deep orange, dirty shirt. He looked like a young monk, but from his height and size he couldn’t have been over eight years old. I suddenly realized that everything was really dark, that the air had a veiled, gray quality to it, like the color of the sky during typhoon. And that, aside from a chill wind, there was no sound at all.

It was at that moment that the both of us suddenly realized this boy wasn’t human—he was a ghost.

A wave of pure fear swept over my body, reverberating, thorwing all my senses on red alert. We both scrambled under the covers, and I clung to Didi’s arm for dear life, trembling and whispering nonsense. Somehow I knew he had turned around.

Then, I hear the boy whisper in my left ear, a silky, imploring whisper in Chinese: "Hi, can I join you guys?"

I tried to scream but couldn’t. This is when I woke up, shaking and covered in sweat. I lay there for awhile, fearful that I hadn’t dreamt that whisper. I contemplated sleeping with the lights on but decided not to bother Natalie. The next thing I know, it’s morning and Natalie is waking me up—I’m 10 minutes late.

Hair 2: purple, not pink

For those who are not in HK with me… you will be heartbroken to know that you will miss seeing mynew, shockingly purple hair. I mean I’m sure you’ll see it eventually but it won’t be the same deep royal purple hue. Coupled with the fact that I've cut it short and I spike it out, I look like some sort of anime character. I thought it would be cool but now people stare at me on the street like they've never seen purple hair before, sheesh, and I'm always thinking: Do I have something in my teeth, why is everyone looking? Now I'll get used to it and one day I WILL have something in my teeth and I won't be able to tell by everyone else's stares. But don’t cry guys, I’ll be back in less than a month!

I tried to take pictures of it but for some reason it turns out looking blue. I’ll try to get a good picture to post.

Sherry arrives today, I am SO excited! I can’t wait to see how big she’s gotten, and listen to her tummy and feel the baby kick!

Hair

I cut my hair even shorter the day before yesterday, and I’m dying the tips pink today.

While I do realize that long hair is better for sex, I reserve the right to do whatever I want to my hair,  opinions of others be damned.

Boys, the following series of actions are the absolute WRONG way to respond when a girl tells you she has cut her hair:
Me, in an email to Tim: "So, do you like my new hair?"
He: Answers my email but avoids the hair question
Me, on IM: "So, do you like my hair?"
He: "Do you like your hair??" <-- note not one but TWO question marks.
Me: YOU HATE MY HAIR!
He: "No, you’re still cute"
Me: That was the wrong answer dear
He: Don’t worry, it’ll grow back!
I do believe that at that moment I had the requisite mens rea for bloody murder. Good thing I’m out of the country.

Random update

I have inexplicably been seized with an intense and overwhelming hunger, even though I ate a tuna sandwich just 3 hours ago. I ate three seaweed flavored saltine crackers, but I’m still hungry.
On a better note, I’m not homeless anymore! J found an awesome place, third story, canyon view, high ceilings, wooden dining area, 2 bed 2 bath for $1200 a month!!! We lucked out!
But something is really freaking me out about my future roommate: we seem to be psychically connected on all things pertinent to the apartment. We send each other emails about decorating ideas, but whatever I think about she’s already thought about and vice versa—it’s like the twilight zone. I wanted a world map, she had already bought one. She told me about multi-country theme, but I had already been talking endlessly about it to my friends here in HK for the past week. Pretty soon we’ll have a joint answering machine recording where we each speak every other word.
My dad, who has been incognito somewhere in China for the past month, suddenly surfaced in Hong Kong yesterday! I’m meeting him tonight for dinner.

Am I an alcoholic?

I’ve been grappling with this question for some time now.
I took the test at http://www.alcoholscreening.org/ and the results were surprising:
Based on your Responses:It is likely that your current drinking patterns are hazardous or harmful to your health and well being. Your responses to the AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test) are in a range believed to be consistent with problems related to drinking. However, the AUDIT cannot diagnose any condition or tell you for certain if alcohol use is harming your health; rather, it is a screening test to determine the likelihood of problematic drinking, and thus whether you should seek further evaluation.
Many people are not aware of how their alcohol consumption compares to that of the general public. More than 96.5% of the general adult American population and 99% of women consume fewer drinks per week than you reported consuming.
But I guess alcoholism is only alcoholism when it interferes with your life, right?
I’ve gotten rid of a lot of addictions these past few years. Must I add alcohol to the list?
I mean, I don’t want to end up one of those drunk-all-the-time-in-the-middle-of-the-day, washed-up looking people who stagger around in their messy apartment unable to face reality.
What do you guys think?

Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge

Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

I'm a lustful, violent, fraudulent, treacherous, malicious panderer.

Wow. What surprised me the most is that according to this quiz I'm only moderately gluttonous!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Meanwhile, bak in Hong Kong....

I’ve been working hard, or pretending to work really hard, at the YMCA. I was so surprised to discover that the YMCA is actually very prestigious in HK—very unlike the homeless-person haven it’s known for being in Cali. I get to run around in a different cute suit every day (I’ve bought NINE suits since I’ve been here) and interview people and generally act like I actually have a real job.

Funny story about my second day at work: We get free lunch every day at the cafeteria (which they call the “canteen”—makes me feel like I’m in the army or something) but we have to use our ID card to scan in at this machine a the front of the lunch line. When people scan in, it makes this pleasant ringing sound, so you’d assume if you weren’t authorized it would make a pleasant beeping noise to indicate that. Oh how wrong I was—I was at the front of the lunch line and scanned my ID card, which apparently wasn’t registered correctly, and instead of a small buzz or other unobtrusive noise, this huge, loud booming voice comes on that says “EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU ARE NOT AUTORIZED TO EAT HERE. PLEASE OBTAIN THE PROPER CLEARANCE AND COME BACK LATER” or something like that…and then repeats itself in Chinese! Omg the while lunch line broke out laughing at my ass and I was so mortified.

Drunken escapades of Karen episode #236:
I left at noon Saturday for a boat trip. Met some interesting people and got swash-bucklingly drunk on countless beers and wine (not a good idea to mix, I know) and ended up drunk-swimming in the open shark-infested ocean to an inflatable boat thing that was tied to the main boat. Hung out there for most of the afternoon…the best part was when it started pouring, it was amazing floating in the ocean while thousands of raindrops cascade all around you. The aftermath was rather ignoble, as I don’t even remember how I got home and I am told that I started banging on Lisa and Sweta’s door shouting “I lost my key!” when in fact I had not lost my key…anyway they found me later passed out in my room (yes, passed out drunk at 7pm) with just a towel on so they dressed me and put me in bed and took compromising pictures (you gotta love friends) and then woke me up at 8pm to go drinking.

Sunday, I went hiking at Lamma island, a beautiful place with the most random little shops in alleyways that played Goa music and made me feel like I was somehow in Europe again.

Sherry arrives in exactly 10 days, and I can’t wait to see her!!!

Thailand part 2

Our second full day, we took a boat to Phi Phi Island and Khai Island, stopping to snorkel, feed monkeys and laze around the beach. I think the pictures tell a better story than I ever could with words.

Here is a passage about the sea snake I saw while snorkeling that swam an inch from my face:
Amphibious Sea Snake (Laticauda colubrina)
The Amphibious Sea Snake, like other Sea Kraits, spends its time mainly at sea in shallow tropical reefs. However, it frequently comes ashore especially during the breeding season when their eggs are laid on land. Close-up of the rudder-shaped tail The attractive silver and black banding covers the entire body from the neck area to the tip of the tail. The tail is laterally compressed and rudder-like, making the snake an efficient underwater swimmer. The species has a powerful myotoxic venom which will paralyze the muscles of a bite victim. This species ranges along the coasts of Bangladesh, Burma, Thailand, West Malaysia and Singapore to the islands of Indonesia, Philippines and the western Pacific Ocean.

Viking Cove 

Thailand

First of all, let me tell you about our gorgeous hotel: It was the Dusit Laguna Phuket, and by far the most gorgeous hotel I've ever stayed in. Five-stars and a member of the Leading Hotels of the World, and opulent in every sense. I can't believe 4 nights and r/t air cost less than $300 for this place. There were rose petals on our bed, and each evening they put an orchid on your pillow with a card that says "goodnight" with a different inspirational passage. My room overlooked a small lake, garden and gazebo, beyond which I could see the waves crashing on the beach. Breakfast every morning included made to order omelettes and a juice bar, and tons of fresh papaya, pineapple, and other strange but delicious tropical fruits.

Our first full day, we went to Phuket town to shop for sarongs, and then booked a 4-hour session at the Tahn Tara spa. We first relaxed in the open-air lobby with a cup of spicy ginger tea, and then were led to the beauty salon for a manicure and pedicure. After showering, I steeped in the sauna while Lisa and Sweta relaxed in the jacuzzi. After 20 minutes of breathing the ginger and spice-infused steam, I took another shower and wrapped myself in a sarong, and was led to the massage room.

The room had a patio overlooking a marshy lake. I was first scrubbed for half an hour all over with a body scrub that smelled like orange creamsicle. Then, the masseuse bathed my feet in lime water and gave me a 30-minute reflexology foot massage. She worked the rose essential oil up and to the rest of my body during another 60 minutes of full-body masssage, while another lady slathered my face with banana scrub, honey mask and cucumber mask. I was completely blissed-out. Afterwards, we put on our sarongs again and went back to the beauty parlor to have our nails have fruit and tea.

It is now my belief that the answer to world peace lies in providing free spa treatments to all people as a human right.

Khai Island 

Me on Khai Island 

Xavier, Eric, Me, Lisa, Didi at Viking Cove 

Me and Didi at Phi Phi (I'm such a rhyming dork) 

Wish you were here! 

Phi Phi 

Phi Phi Island 

The lobby of our gorgeous hotel 

View of alcohol and out hotel balcony. The bright background is the light reflecting off of the ocean, it's right beyond the building. 

Me and Lisa got the, er, honeymoon suite, hehe 

Flowers on my bed at Dusit Laguna, Phuket