went to a concert yesterday featuring (drumroll please) J-5, The Roots, Outkast, and Lauryn Hill !!!!!! AAARRRGGGHAAAAAUUUUOOORRAAAAH! (that was me, screaming my head off inside, though outwardly i was just biting my nails and smiling in awe for 4 hours) so much great music, all in one place....i....was....rendered....speechless.

i love getting away for the weekend--going places where i have no chance whatsoever of running into anyone i know, and where things are just unfamiliar enough to make me feel like i've escaped the drudgery that is my work-week.

after a set of unexpected (though on a level, i supose, not completely unforseen) events, i am now in a state of deep confusion that will take a lot of soul-searching, and perhaps a pint or two of ice cream, to resolve. although i have not read the book, i feel i am caught in a catch-22 where any action i take, even if i take no action, will precipitate situations i would not be happy with. is the rather crazy scattered life i have been living of late something that i will later look back on with nostalgia or shame? am i lying to myself when i say that i'm happy alone, or am i too much of a coward to stay independent? and did my morals accidentally get dumped out with the bong-water, or am i finally becoming comfortable with myself?

what are promises unkept but lies?

i am afraid to hope.