Torts sounds so much like Torture...

My Torts professor is perhaps the most boring person ever to walk the face of the earth. If the planet were being invaded by malicious aliens, we need only subject them to a Torts lecture, and they would haul their little green asses back to planet X in horror.

Further, as the TA so wisely informed us, it is a great unsolved mystery as to how his pants stay up during class. He has this extremely long torso, yet the pants seem to float in midair, defying all laws of physics. The only thing more disconcerting than the creeping suspicion that gravity has no hold upon this man’s belt is finding myself staring at his navel all period.