Bob the VIII

Bob the VIII is a rosemary plant the lives on my balcony. He is the replacement for Bob the VII, a basil plant that sadly left us after an unfortunate overzealous bruschetta incident (note to self and roommate: plants need leaves to photosynthesize).

Bobs, VI, V, IV, III, II and I all share a similar sordid history, victims of underwatering, overwatering, strange little bugs, overfertilizing, and other causes i haven't quite figured out yet.

All of my palm trees are named Marley. Marley the First narrowly escaped death when I moved and gave him to my dad, who planted him in the backyard where he is flourishing. Marley II is barely hanging by a thread, in Tim's backyard--some strange fungal infection.

I have tried naming them differently to see if it maybe it might help, but Ivy and Crazy Bob (a corkscrew rush that my friend Pamela rightly called "the pubic hair plant") expired at roughly the same rate. I thought it might be that the plants themselves were of poor quality, but I've bought no less than ten for Tim, and his pad is a veritable greenhouse of lovely, flourishing flora and fauna of all species. I asked him if he got me a plant for Valentine's day, and he said of course not, he would never be that cruel to the plant.

I guess you could say I'm not too good with plants.

Anyway, I hope Bob VIII lasts longer than his predecessors. Rosemary bushes are supposed to be hardy--but then again, Bob II was a Rosemary.