email shenanigans

today, I used my friend Scott's computer to check my email, and forgot to sign off. He promptly used my account to send the following email to my roomate:

My sweet and wonderful roommate J:

I cannot contain my feelings for you any longer. I think about you
all the time. I often stand over you while you are sleeping and let
my mind wander to beautiful and unnatural places. Sometimes I wish
with all of my heart that you would wake up and take me into your bed
with you. But then I realize that if you woke up, you would see me
drooling on your blanket with a crazed look in my eyes and you would
probably kick me out. Alas, I cannot live this lie any longer. My
cockles are bursting with lust and begging for your sensual touch. I
will not rest until I can fulfill my ultimate fantasy of licking pesto
sauce from between your 2nd and 3rd toes on your left foot. I can
only dream that when I return to our nest tonight, you will be waiting
for me with basil, garlic, and olive oil in one hand and a blender in
the other.

I love you, J!!!

Yours ALWAYS
K