On the steps of the Sacre Couer, Paris, 4/1/02:

A man is standing in front of the steps, turning a crank on a machine that plays beautiful accordion-like osngs. People keep applauding him, but all he's doing is turning the crank!

---

My hotel room at Coulaincourt Square, Montmarte, Paris, 4/1/02:

I'm sitting here watching German MTV--a guy named J-luv feat. Cutty, "O.U.T" is rapping in German, with a liberal sprinkling of "Dirty Mama's" and "Bitches." One thing i miss about Amsterdam is the great music they play in every coffeeshop. I think I'm going to go walk around Montmarte later, hang out at a cafe with some the, and have my picture drawn by one of the artistes.

I wonder why i still go to church. To an extent, I'm still a Christian. I believe that there is a God and that there is such a thing as heaven and hell, but I struggle with the idea that Protestant Christianity is the only way to salvation. But somehow, when I'm wandering around Notre Dame, or sitting in the Sacre Couer, or listening to the organ at Sainte Eustache, or staring breathless at the light in Sainte Chapelle, I'm convinced that our lives must be directed, composed, by a benevolent deity. My problem is that I can't seem to reconcile the religion I've been taught with the life I've come to live. It seems to me that if God were the type of deity I'd want to commit my life to, he'd understand me and not mind the things that I do.