Sleeptalking

The other day, I was trying to wake Tim up, and he cussed me out while still asleep, calling me "fucking piece of shit" and telling me to go into the closet and stay there.

I was left dumbfounded, staring open-mouthed and utterly incapable of exacting revenge, since he was, as previously mentioned, fast asleep.

I guess this is retribution for the times I've cussed people out in my sleep. Last year, I allegedly responded to a question asked me while I was asleep by snapping "What the fuck does it matter?"

When I was in Vegas (asleep) and Mat was talking in the morning, I told him to shut the fuck up, twice.

I think this is a very interesting phenomenon. Someone should do a study about the frequency and ease with which profanities are slung around when the person doing the slinging is asleep and threatened with the prospect of being woken up. I suppose at that halfway point between consciousness and slumber, the most primal part of us awakens and all socially instilled manners are thrown out the window, ergo the frequent use of the word "fuck."

Or maybe I'm just a fucking grouch in the morning.