Your Sexual Power Animal is a Penguin!

Choosy, selective, and monogamous.



Not only are you picky when it comes to sex.

You tend to stick with the same partner for a long time

And since you're so picky, it takes a lot to get you

Once you're impressed, then you'll put out



What's Your Sexual Power Animal?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Drunkenness and Debauchery

It's the day before Halloween, yet I have already run around fucked up out of my mind, in a naughty schoolgirl outfit, twice. I do not plan to dress up tomorrow, lest someone remember me by my uncharacteristically outrageous behavior last weekend. It's all a little hazy, but I think that this weekend, I:

1. Bit the large fake boob of a large guy dressed in drag (also as a naughty schoolgirl)
2. Kissed someone....this someone being female...this kiss having been caught, twice, on camera
3. Slapped the naked butt of a man dressed only in a skimpy loincloth and thong (also caught on camera)
4. Ran around the SD sports arena with my shirt completely unbuttoned
5. Was dropped by drunken Tim from a height of almost six feet, then body-slammed as he toppled onto me

In conclusion, I think I have pre-partied enough for Halloween, and predict an evening of demureness and witty, non-drunken conversation tomorrow.

Oh, who am I kidding. Look out for the drunken schoolgirl.

Thou shalt not annoy the hell out of thy neighbor

Sometimes when I type in the address to my blog wrong (when I input “blogpsot” instead of “blogspot”), I am taken to “Aaron’s Bible,” a mega-site of fundamentalist Christian material. It’s invasive and rude, and very unwelcome. Does this happen to anyone else? How low of them…the site even has pop-ups telling me to change my homepage to theirs!

Well, their underhanded tactics have worked to some degree…I was reading through the site today. You know what really irks me? When people lament that the world is descending into a moral abyss, and that our sexual morals are getting worse and worse as time goes by.

News flash, you tunnel-vision nincompoops: humans have been a depraved, sexually deviant, promiscuous lot from the beginning. Just read Petronius’s The Satyricon (written during Roman times...the time of Christ) or any of the works of the Marquis de Sade (17th & 18th century pervert). Socrates was gay. The Bible itself is full of stories of lust and adultery.

IMHO, one cannot blame the bad things that happen in life on something as ambiguous as “declining morality.” I think, rather, we as a society have an increasing sense of prudishness.

Aaron’s Bible says that declining sexual morals proves that a Biblical prophecy has been fulfilled—more proof that the world will indeed end very soon and we should all mark Aaron’s Bible as our homepage.

I should learn how to type more accurately.

Find your inner Smurf!

DUUMMMMM....dum dum dum dum DUUMMMMM......dum dum dum dum DUUUMMMMMMMM.......



I'm going to the Phantom of the Opera this weekend. *sob*..Christine! Chrissstiiine....

Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

scratch that. my biggest fear is mediocrity, which is why i'm in law school.

My biggest fear....

...is that the law is slowly draining away my ability to enjoy life. so....dry.....so...very....dryyy..... *gasp*

My job at the library circulation desk is pretty boring...but pretty funny. All I have to say is, watch out, people, cuz librarians talk SHIT. I was rifling through a pile of papers on the front desk today and found, hidden in plain sight, a list of stupid things people have asked the reference librarian. Talk about bitter....

Each year, Project Censored lists the top 25 underreported news stories...

Click:
Project Censored - Home

I was especially surprised by #1. I never even new the PNAC existed before today. Very scary.

LOL

I just received this notice from the Southwest Center for Asian Pacific American Law regarding internships. I cut and pasted it...this is a direct quote:

Worker’s Rights (WR) Program

This WR Program will educate high students who are or will be wage earners about their rights in the work place...

Moore v. Regents of University of California
Supreme Court of California (1991)

This really sucks:

Moore goes to UCLA medical center to seek treatment for hairy-call leukemia, and the doctors tell him that he needs to have his spleen removed or he will die. Moore agrees, and they remove his spleen. What the doctors don't tell Moore is that his cells are unique and worth a LOT of money.

So, Moore undergoes seven years of follow-up procedures and testing, giving additional tissue samples, believing that all this is important to his treatment. UCLA ends up isolating a cell line from Moore's cells, patents the cell line, receives hundreds of thousands of dollars in funding. The cell line has a projected worth in the billions of dollars.

Of course Moore sues. The case goes all the way to the Supreme Court of California. And guess what? They ruled that Moore could not sue for conversion of property. He could not reap any benefits from the cell line that UCLA had profited from. But he could sue for breach of fiduciary duty...but that is hard to prove and it still doesn't mean he gets any of the profits.

Sometimes, the cases I study are so unfair.

Guerilla Warfare

hey guys, go to www.onetermpresident.org and download fliers and stencils. i am planning on posting the fliers on campus. how about a synchronized campaign?

Okay...

You know when two posts ago, I said I thought I was at the pinnacle of nerdiness?

I have just secured a second job as a LIBRARIAN. In the law school library.

First person who mails me suspenders and horn-rimmed glasses gets to give me a wedgie and shoot me in the head.

George Bush's Resume

One-L

Okay, first week is over. Already, I am a hundered times the nerd I was.

I am a catholic schoolgirl, i carry around 30 pounds of gear with me wherever i go (half laptop and accessories, half overburdening law books), i use my highlighter so often that i have it easily accessible and visible on the outside of my purse (one step away from pocket protector, see), i am getting paler and pastier by the second, and--this is the clincher--i work not just in the library, but the computer lab of the library.

yes, the joys of law school.

on a lighter note, these people seem to be alcoholics. all of the student events seem to involve unlimited free alcohol, and in one case, topless pudding wrestling. it's like college all over again, but with bigger books and more debt!

The end of my first day of law school. What have I learned today?

1) I can walk from the door of my apartment to the door of my first class in ten minutes flat
2) My new monster of a laptop, impressively powerful as it is, is very, very heavy...perhaps prohibitively so.
3) Class is boring (big surprise here)

Hmmm.....

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? (Click here)

FREE BURRITO!

(With the purchase of a large drink)....

Actually, it's a "Bare Burrito" so it has no tortilla, but it's still damn good. The drink is $2.14 and comes in a cool plastic sports cup. The burrito is delicious and if you pile enough pico de gallo on it, will last you two meals. AND this coupon lasts till September 22! Click on the link below and email yourself the coupon. I've been there 2 days in a row...yummy.

FREE BURRITO FROM BAJA FRESH

Sleeptalking

The other day, I was trying to wake Tim up, and he cussed me out while still asleep, calling me "fucking piece of shit" and telling me to go into the closet and stay there.

I was left dumbfounded, staring open-mouthed and utterly incapable of exacting revenge, since he was, as previously mentioned, fast asleep.

I guess this is retribution for the times I've cussed people out in my sleep. Last year, I allegedly responded to a question asked me while I was asleep by snapping "What the fuck does it matter?"

When I was in Vegas (asleep) and Mat was talking in the morning, I told him to shut the fuck up, twice.

I think this is a very interesting phenomenon. Someone should do a study about the frequency and ease with which profanities are slung around when the person doing the slinging is asleep and threatened with the prospect of being woken up. I suppose at that halfway point between consciousness and slumber, the most primal part of us awakens and all socially instilled manners are thrown out the window, ergo the frequent use of the word "fuck."

Or maybe I'm just a fucking grouch in the morning.

Re-entry

"Re-entry" is a term describing the period of adjustment, often accompanied by depression, after one returns from a long vacation, when one tries to get a grip on returning to the "real" word. Re-entry sucks.

I have returned from my month-long european escapade #3, and am faced with....nothing.

I don't have a home, and all my stuff is in boxes stored in my parent's garage and in Tim's room. So now, I sit around all day while Tim is at work and slink from couch to room to bed, listlessly sifting through piles of men's magazines and listening to my stomach growl while watching the food network, thinking, "This is how housecats must feel."

Highlights of the day include: staring at the fishtank, feeding the turtles, cooking instant noodles, and picking the scab off of the behemoth of a cold sore that is currently dominating half of my lower lip.

Occasionally, I go outside to look at the raincouds that literally seem to hang over my head. It's been unbearably gloomy since I returned, as if the world wanted to remind me just how mundane real life can be.

I have been communicating via email with some future classmates of mine re: housing options, and it looks like I'll be meeting some of them soon to decide if I want to share apartments with them for the rest of the year.

On the brighter side, this next month will probably be one of the last times I get to truly relax for a long, long time, so i had better get used to, and start liking, doing nothing all day, because I am sure I'm going to miss this a month from now.

Greetings from Amsterdam...

my god, it's great to be home. i arrived yesterday after almost two days of missed flights and standby and airport bathrooms, but i made it! here i am, in the land of legal weed and bland food.

those who went to amsterdam with me in the past will be VERY surprised to hear that i tried the McKroket at Mc Donald's...and liked it! it kind of tastes like pulverized salisbury steak in a kroket with gravy and mayo.

i am going to take a bike tour and visit museums today. no, really, i am.

last night, we walked around the red light district and stared at the prostitutes in the windows...always eye-opening experience. i am staying at the globe again, in the same nasty, no-ventilation room i always end up in, but i am strangely fond of the place.

Another Chapter Ended…

Today is my last day at work, and the end of my two years of confused wandering in the work world, and in about two months, the beginning of three years of law school. But it’s been a hell of a two years, and impressive on my resume even if a lot of it sounds much better than it really was. I learned a lot about what I like and dislike in a working environment—experience that is priceless, given how naïve I was when I graduated from college.

In the past two years, I have traveled to: Paris (twice), Amsterdam (twice), Lyon, Marseilles, Rome, Venice, Florence, Prague, Vienna, Siena, Barcelona, Riomaggiore, and Hawaii. I learned just as much travelling as I did working full time—something for those of you who have time to travel to really think about, since I only spent about 7-8 weeks travelling these two years, as opposed to the whole rest of the time working at least 40 hours a week. I think that it’s not a matter of not being able to afford to travel—I sincerely believe that we can’t afford not to travel. I can spend the rest of my life making money, but it will not be until I retire that I will have this much time on my hands to see the world.

So, off I go again, three weeks to wander around Europe. I wish I could have gone to Asia, but the SARS thing seems to have abated too late for me to change my plans. In 48 hours, I will be landing home…in Amsterdam. I cannot wait.

this is what i sometimes see when i go to sleep:

two graphic nightmares about murdered children:

the police discovered the bodies in a field of golden wheat. it was a mother and child, carefully arranged so it looked like the child was sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms. but when i got closer, i could see that they were dead...that thousands of small lacerations had been cut all over their bodies. to illustrate this point further, the next scene is of a naked body in the lotus position but standing on its head in a waving field of wheat, the blue cloudless sky in the background. the skin is visibly dead and decaying..taking on a greyish hue. the lacerations are red, a few inches each in length, covering the entire body.

the police had been searching the lake for the bodies...suddenly, a cloud of ash appeared beneath the water--something was coming up from the bottom. the light gray body of a child appears, bobbing up and down, eyes open, vacant and staring directly at me. i can see the blue veins underneath the skin. another cloud appears underneath the water, and i watch in dread as another small child comes up. these children were a small boy and a girl, but i can't remember which one appeared first. what i do remember is that the end of my dream is an extreme close-up of the girl's gray-blue lips, which are trembling like she's trying to tell me something.

On Dreams....

it happened again. i dreamt something and it came true.

this time, i had written down my dream (on May 4, 2003), complete with sketches, and left the paper in Tim's desk. Tim was with me on May 24, exactly 20 days later, when the things i dreamt came true. So now, I have written proof, a witness to my written proof, and a witness to the actual events. As for the details of the dream..call me for an explanation.

It is undeniable now that I really do dream about events that will happen in the future. This comes as no big surprise to me, since it has been happening since i was a little kid, but I am still very disturbed, as I have had more precognitive dreams this past year than all the past true-dream instances of my life combined. Poor Tim is completely freaked, and i do not blame him.

Here is what I dreamt last night:

I was in a coffeeshop in Amsterdam...I thought I had walked into the rastaman shop where I usually hung out the last two times I went to Amsterdam, but I guess they had remodeled the place since it was darker and there was a big wooden bar/counter. There was a round wooden table with several chairs near the bar, and against the wall there was a smaller wooden table with a black guy sitting there smoking. Tim and I were buying weed from the menu and comparing the different kinds. I bought some crazy mango or tropical flavored variety, and it smelled very fruity. We started talking to other people at the coffeeshop, and ended up sitting at the round table together. I had trouble finding rolling papers on the counter, but eventually found them, although they were strangely wider than usual.

I have no idea if this is ever going to happen, but if it does, then that would be very cool since I'll have more proof, although at this point I don't think I need any more proof.

What's really scaring me is that I have been dreaming about my dead relatives, in particular my mother. This deeply disturbs me because I have only dreamt of my mother twice in the six years since her death, but it is happening more frequently lately. These dreams are very clear, like the dreams I have that come true (I can usually tell if it's a precognitive dream by the clarity of the dream--precognitive ones are extra clear, if that makes any sense). And she keeps trying to say something to me, but I can't tell what it is.