I don't know why I'm even mad, but I am....

As I was exiting the freeway two days ago, my radio, which was tuned to 89.9, picked up another station's broadcast and I was able to listen in to a Bible study being conducted by what could only be an older protestant male. The verses of the day were Titus 2:3-5. A woman called, asking if these verses, particularly the command for women to "be keepers of the home...so that the word of God will not be blasphemed," mean that women should not work outside the home. He proceeded to inform the caller that a woman's place is of course in the home, and women, of course, bear first and foremost the responsibility of taking care of all household matters and raising the children. Before the invention of modern conveniences like dishwashers, keeping a home was a full-time job. But now that we have a host of modern conveniences, as long as women get their chores done on time, there is no reason they can't also have a job outside of the home.

Those of you who know me are probably able to imagine my reaction.

It's not that I don't fully intend, if and/or when I have children and a household to "keep," to devote my time to raising my children well. I would be completely willing to take time off of my career to be a full-time mother, because my children have one mother and that's me, and who else is going to raise them with as much love as I would? What shocked me about his comment, and I guess i shouldn't be so shocked since apparently he's not alone in his thinking, is that in this world, in 2004, some people still belittle a woman's right to live her life the way she wants. So if I have kids I want to stay home and take care of them for awhile. What if I don't want to have kids? What if I would like to pursue a rewarding career instead? What if my husband wants to wash the dishes?

So I did some searching on the Internet and found an article that managed to irk me even more than the radio guy did:
Click here and be amazed.
Take these choise morsels of wisdom:
In 1870, 13 percent of the women of America worked outside the home. Almost without exception, these were single women working in two fields, secretarial and nursing. By 1970, 40 percent of the women of America worked outside their homes. By 1991, it was 69 percent, and in 1994, it is about 71%. They are no longer single women, but married women and mothers who have children and teenagers at home.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist or brain surgeon to conclude that there is something very wrong with our society. We've all heard the statistics till we've become immune to them: highest divorce rate of any free country in the world, teen pregnancies, 1.5 million abortions a year, only 50% of our children growing up in a nuclear family, crime, murder, suicide, all types of abuses and the list goes on and on.

The blame can rightfully be placed in many directions. Included in these would be the devaluating of Motherhood in America. If you are a mother, that is a full-time career and ministry, don't ever stoop to become the President of the United States or anything else. Don't forsake motherhood for money. Don't miss motherhood for money.

Of course, any article positing any opinion is readily available on the web, but sadly, this is not the fist time I have heard these arguments. I shouldn't be mad about these people and their views, but dammit, I can't help but be offended by comments like "if you do have to work because your husband died, work only enough to make ends meet and spend the rest of your day preparing Bible study for your kids,".....as opposed, I guess, to working to save for their college education.

I'll give it a rest now, but I leave you with this. Check out the "What's wrong with dating" article--and grovel, you heathens, in the knowledge that dating will make you get divorced. Get betrothed instead!

Actually I rescind that last comment. I re-took the quiz, randomly inserting answers, and still scored "Master of Grammar." This either means the test is bunk or that I am so great that I always choose the right answers, even unconsciously. I guess I'll have to rely on my English degree for proof of my grammar ability, as opposed to Quizilla.

I am so proud.

So so so so so proud. I could cry.


You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Annual Boat/Vegas Trip

Friday night: I arrived in Vegas already drunk, so I have little recollection of what happened afterwards. I somehow ended up at Studio 54 and remember being in a horrible mood all night. I am told that while observing a group of hexagenarians, I decided that they couldn't dance worth shit and proceeded to storm the dance floor to show them how to dance (nevermind the fact I could hardly stand). Friday night resulted in my being way too hung over to drink Saturday night. Having been stone-cold sober when most were drunk, I am readily able to remember:
* Mat walking up and down the hallway, singing love songs, dripping wet from having thrown himself into the freezing lake at 1am. Later, he complained of being very very cold, having apparently forgtten why. Then he fell asleep under the dining table. Despite all this, he still managed to cook a very mean spaghetti sauce the next day.
* Male stripping
* Throwing of very large rocks onto crotches
* Improptu freestyle rapping
* The Urinator, who tried all night to establish to us that he did other things than urinate in the corner of rooms while drunk
* Captain McNasty. If I could erase a person from my memory altogether, a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, this guy would be on the top of my list. I guess there's a dubious kind of pride to take in being the one person someone would choose to forget, but having a self-proclaimed title like Captain McNasty probably prepares you for any flack you could get for living up to your name.

Today

Leaving warren hall a half-hour ago, I saw tied to the trashcan outside the door a solitary powder-blue balloon with the word "TODAY" written on it in dark block letters. Earlier, it was one of three balloons that said "Vote," "Today," and something else, I forgot. My friends had sucked up the helium from the first two balloons at the start of the study session.

I started walking to my car, and when I got there I turned around to stare at the balloon swaying gently and looking hopeful even as it guarded the doors to hell. I walked back to the balloon, unfettered it and walked it to the middle of the empty parking lot, where I let it go and watched as it floated up, spiralling, eventually disappearing in the mist.

And that's why Tim gets to do my taxes this year

Just read a hilarious article, the premise if which is: Since math-deficient people (like myself) are forced to do something we thoroughly suck at (taxes), each and every year, why not force the math-loving people of the country to do things they suck at, like writing and singing, once each year? Click here for the article

PMS

Something strange I have been noticing lately is that when I am PMS-ing, my alcohol tolerance goes waaay up. I haven't tested this phenomenon fully, but I'll try to remember to keep tabs on myself next month when I'm feeling pissy and I'm breaking out and crying for no good reason.

I moved today. It took only 2 hours this time--I must be getting good at it, either that or I have less and less stuff (probably the latter). For the next month and a half I will be the resident cook/houseguest at tim's pad.

The return of the burrito

Last night I went to Red Circle and got pretty drunk. I tried a Jager-blaster (or three), which is Jager and redbull, and was very surprised to discover that Jager mixed in this particular manner tastes nothing like licorice (I HATE licorice). I have a new fuck-me-up-quick drink! After clubbing I went to Santana's and inhaled with astounding rapidity a one-pound carne asada california burrito, while drinking hot salsa from a small cup. The combination of copious amounts of alcohol, hot salsa, greasy meat, and fried potatoes resulted this morning in a rather violent episode i have named "the return of the burrito."

I have stopped trembling, but I am still recovering.

Shit

I have this problem of not being able to go #2 in places that are unfamiliar to me, or where I don't feel completely comfortable. I simply won't go. When I travel, I will literally not go #2 for up to a week. It took me months, perhaps a year, to be able to go comfortably at Tim's place.

So the fact that I have been shitting with abandon for some months now at the law school study hell--er, halls, is utterly terrifying.

Here's a poem I lifted from Spam Poetry, a blog that makes poetry composed only of recent spam subject headers:

American Patriots,
How can we serve you better?

Win a laptop computer?
Win a trip to Florida?
Win a NEW LEXUS?
We give you more of what you want.

American Patriots,
How can we serve you better?
Want free movies?
Want to date a supermodel?
Want a bigger penis and stronger erections?
You will love it!

American Patriots,
How can we serve you better?
We have decided to increase your credit,
Increase your penis size, now
Give you free money.

Just Vote Bush. Your wife will never know.

More on the Federal Marriage Amendment

Interesting Article

heeheehee click this

Armadillos and Georgia O'Keefe...or not

So eight of us packed out carryon bags and headed off to Arizona this weekend to visit Josh, and because it was only $29 each way to fly. I also went in search of Georgia O'Keefe's home, and an armadillo to kick, to see if they really curl up into a ball. When I arrived, I learned that Georgia O'Keefe lived in New Mexico and Armadillos live in Texas. doh.

We went to Sedona on Saturday. I've never really cared for desert scenery until now...it is truly beautiful over there. Huge looming sedimentary red rock formations and cacti reminded me of the Roadrunner and Wil E. Coyote cartoons. We took a Jeep tour along the rock formations, and cimbed our way up huge bumps, whilst clinging to the sides of the truck for dear life. Then we went to soome touristy restaurant and bought prickly pear margaritas which tasted like shit, and cactus fries which were delicious.

On Sunday, we had nothing to do and Chester had the brilliant idea of checking to see whether a basketball game was going on in Phoenix. We found that lo and behold, the Lakers were in Phoenix that day, and we got tickets for $30!!!!! Not bad seats for $30 either. This almost makes up for Chester's other brilliant idea of the night before, when he decided it would be a good idea to rub a cactus pad (yes, a live prickly i-have-spines-do-not-touch-me cactus pad) on his bare cheek.

I ate a lot this weekend and can no longer fit into 60% of my clothes. I also think it's that time of month that I have extremely intense cravings for chocolate everything, so I expect to be in a muumuu by next weekend.

Also, I dreamt Saturday night that Tim was cheating on me with a girlie pop-star who had hired him as a topless Michael-Jackson impersonating stage dancer. Crotch grabbing, hip swaying and all. And very very tight black pants. I guess if this really happened I wouldn't be as upset as I'd be rolling on the floor laughing.

What Famous Leader Are You?

It seems I have some pretty serious insomnia lately. Is it the stress? I feel I am getting so little done. Perhaps I stay up so late as to make myself feel more productive, but in reality I'm just spending the same amount of time--or even less--studying than if I had a normal sleeping schedule.

I have added comments to the end of my blogs! And a survey column!

No, I don't have anything better to do at 6am. I have been up all night writing my Lawyering skills paper, the thesis of which is: The facts of the instant case are insufficient to establish actionable Title VII sexual harassment....zzZZ....three-prong test.....ZZzzz....severe and pervasive...hostile work environment....*slumps over dead in chair*

oh well, the good thng about staying up all night is that I get to go to the dining hall breakfast buffet at 7am.

Some 5am thoughts on the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment, H.J. Res. 56/ S.J. Res.26

Here's the text of the proposed marriage amendment to the Constitution:

SECTION 1. Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution or the constitution of any State, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that marital status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon unmarried couples or groups.'.

Now, curious and inquisitive in these matters as I may be, I am not planning on marrying a person of the same sex. But it certainly offends my notion of freedom to not have this option available to me should I choose to exercise it. Moreover, I am worried about the language in the second sentence. While most of the opposition is centered around the "gay marriage" controversy, I am extremely worried that this Amendment seeks to forever preclude unmarried cohabitants the right to legal benefits afforded even the most dysfunctional marriage.

In France, unmarried cohabitants can enter into a "Civil Solidarity Pact," whereby they have joint taxation benefits after three years, inheritance rights after two years, plus access to one another's health benefits. Similar statutes have been enacted into law in Canada, Norway, Belgium, the Netherlands, Iceland, Sweden, and Denmark.

In my opinion, what the proponents of the Federal Marriage Amendment are essentially saying is that a man and a woman can enter into a morally depraved, abusive, horrible marriage, and as long as it is on paper, they will be extended all the benefits of marriage, whereas a loving and committed heterosexual couple, or an equally loving and committed gay couple, are denied those benefits. With the divorce rate hovering above 50%, who's to say that marriage is as sacrosanct as the proponents of the amendment seem to be implying?

I am somewhat alright with a state statute prohibiting gay marriage, if that's what floats the legislature's (and constituents') boat, but to go so far as to weave the requirement of heterosexual marriage into the fabric of this country's Constitution is in my opinion a step back towards the days of moral patronism, and ignores the reality of the increasing number of unmarried cohabitants in this country.

What's next, prohibition (again)?

Valentine's Day

A year of complaints regarding the lack of flower gifts and general sweep-me-off-my feet tactics have paid off.

I was fed a very impressive home-cooked dinner of cheese fondue, lobster, steak, spinach ravioli, and chocolate fondue (with strawberries, pound cake, and bosc pears for dipping), amid the requisite dozen roses and two tulip plants. Who knew he was such a great cook?

Then we played poker with friends till the wee hours of the morning. And got drunk and passed out. A more perfect Valentine's day I could not have wished for.

In return, I gave him two sweaters and a shirt, all exactly one size too small. Yup, I know my man.

Dodging and squirming

This is an actual excerpt of the Feb. 10th press briefing, from the White House website.Read the entire transcript here.

MR. McCLELLAN: Good afternoon. The President, a short time ago, concluded his meeting with some economic leaders. This was a good discussion about the steps that we have taken to strengthen our economy, and the additional steps that we are calling on Congress to take to strengthen our economy even more, so that we can create as robust an environment as possible for job creation.

A lot of the issues that were discussed centered on addressing rising health care costs, promoting trade, making the tax cuts permanent, and passing a comprehensive energy plan. Those are all important parts of the President's six-point plan to strengthen our economy even more.

And that's the quick readout from the meeting. With that, I'll be glad to go right into your questions.

Q On the attendance records of the National Guard, it said he had 56 out of a required 50 points. Is that considered a good attendance record, do you know? Or do you know what the maximum number of points you can get --

MR. McCLELLAN: First of all, we were pleased to be able to provide you all with these additional records that just recently came to our attention. These documents clearly show that the President fulfilled his duties. And we had previously released some of the point summaries that you are referencing. There is more complete information relating to those point summaries that document the fact that the President of the United States fulfilled his duties when he was serving in the National Guard back in the early '70s.

Q Scott, a couple of questions I have -- the records that you handed out today, and other records that exist, indicate that the President did not perform any Guard duty during the months of December 1972, February or March of 1973. I'm wondering if you can tell us where he was during that period. And also, how is it that he managed to not make the medical requirements to remain on active flight duty status?

MR. McCLELLAN: John, the records that you're pointing to, these records are the payroll records; they're the point summaries. These records verify that he met the requirements necessary to fulfill his duties. These records --

Q That wasn't my question, Scott.

MR. McCLELLAN: These payroll records --

Q Scott, that wasn't my question, and you know it wasn't my question. Where was he in December of '72, February and March of '73? And why did he not fulfill the medical requirements to remain on active flight duty status?

MR. McCLELLAN: These records -- these records I'm holding here clearly document the President fulfilling his duties in the National Guard. The President was proud of his service. The President --

Q I asked a simple question; how about a simple answer?

MR. McCLELLAN: John, if you'll let me address the question, I'm coming to your answer, and I'd like --

Q Well, if you would address it -- maybe you could.

MR. McCLELLAN: I'm sorry, John. But this is an important issue that some chose to raise in the context of an election year, and the facts are important for people to know. And if you don't want to know the facts, that's fine. But I want to share the facts with you.

Q I do want to know the facts, which is why I keep asking the question. And I'll ask it one more time. Where was he in December of '72, February and March of '73? Why didn't he fulfill the medical requirements to remain on active flight duty status in 1972?

MR. McCLELLAN: The President recalls serving both when he was in Texas and when he was in Alabama. And that is what I can tell you. And we have provided you these documents that show clearly that the President of the United States fulfilled his duties. And that is the reason that he was honorably discharged from the National Guard. The President was proud of his service.

The President spent some of that time in Texas. He was a member of the Texas Air National Guard, and he was given permission, on a temporary basis, to perform equivalent duty while he was in Alabama. And he performed that duty. And the payroll records, that I think are very important for the public to have, clearly reflect that he served.

Q Scott, when Senator Kerry goes around campaigning, there's frequently what they call "a band of brothers," a bunch of soldiers who served with him, who come forward and give testimonials for him. I see, in looking at our files in the campaign of 2000, it said that you were looking for people who served with him to verify his account of service in the National Guard. Has the White House been able to find, like Senator Kerry, "a band of brothers" or others who can testify about the President's service?

MR. McCLELLAN: All the information that we have we shared with you in 2000, that was relevant to this issue. And all the additional information that has come to our attention we have shared with you. The President was asked about this in his interview over the weekend, and the President made it clear, yes, I want all records to be made available that are relevant to this issue; that there are some out there that were making outrageous, baseless accusations. It was a shame that they brought it up four years ago. It was a shame that they brought it up again this year. And I think that the facts are very clear from these documents. These documents -- the payroll records and the point summaries verify that he was paid for serving and that he met his requirements.

Q Actually, I wasn't talking about documents, I was talking about people -- you know, comrades-in-arms --

MR. McCLELLAN: Right. That's why I said everything that came to our attention that was available, we made available at that time, during the 2000 campaign.

Q But you said you were looking for people -- and I take it you didn't find any people?

MR. McCLELLAN: I mean, obviously, we would have made people available. And we -- Mr. Lloyd, who has provided a statement to put some of this into context for everybody, made some public statements during that time period to verify the records that the President had fulfilled his duties. And he put out an additional statement now to put this into context. He's someone with some technical expertise and someone that understands these matters, because he was in the National Guard at the time.

Q Scott, can I follow on this, because I do think this is important. You know, it might strike some as odd that there isn't anyone who can stand up and say, I served with George W. Bush in Alabama, or in Houston in the Guard unit. Particularly because there are people, his superiors who have stepped forward -- in Alabama and in Houston -- who have said in the past several years that they have no recollection of him being there and serving. So isn't that odd that nobody -- you can't produce anyone to corroborate what these records purport to show?

MR. McCLELLAN: David, we're talking about some 30 years ago. You are perfectly welcome to go back and talk to individuals from that time period. But these documents --

Q Hey, we're trying. But I would have thought you guys would have had a real good handle on --

MR. McCLELLAN: - these documents make it very clear that the President of the United States fulfilled his duties --

Q Well, that's subject to interpretation.

MR. McCLELLAN: No. When you serve, you are paid for that service. And these documents outline the days on which he was paid. That means he served. And these documents also show that he met his requirements. And it's just really a shame that people are continuing to bring this issue up. When --

Q I understand --

MR. McCLELLAN: No, no, no, no. People asked for records to be released that would demonstrate he met his requirements. The records have now been fully released. The facts are clear --

Q Do you know that a lot of these payroll records are --

MR. McCLELLAN: -- the facts are clear --

Q -- you can't read them. Have you looked at these? You can't -- how are we supposed to read these?

I vant so suck your blood

I am such a sloth. A vampire sloth. I woke up at 2:30 today and made a huge ribeye steak and sauteed onions and fried egg with leftover fondue cheese from last night, ate it, and fell back asleep until 7:20pm. So now, it's 8:20 pm and I have just started my day.

Today I had a glorious, gigantic fuji apple, at the very pinnacle of ripeness. It was easily the size of both my fists put together, and filled my car with an enticing fragrance. I have never seen a more perfect apple. It sat in the driver's seat as I listened to a Norah Jones interview on NPR and thought of how many wonderful ways I could eat it. Then, I stopped at a red light right next to a homeless panhandler. I marveled at my good fortune, since I always want to give homeless people food but I rarely have food in the car with me. I rolled down the window.
"Want an apple?"
"Thank you, I love apples," he said.
Then, he smiled, and I realized that I had just given a very firm apple to a very nearly toothless man.

Er, Al Sharpton for President??

I just took AOL's Presidential Match Test and found that I'm 100% in agreement with Dennis Kucinich (never heard of him)..but was quite surprised to learn that I agree with Al Sharpton 97% of the time! Hmmm.... Then it's Kerry at 86%, Dean at 81%, Edwards at 77% and Clark at 76%. And god save me, Bush at 20%.

Then, I clicked on Kucinich's profile and was disconcerted to find that "Peace activists, New Age gurus and people who practice alternative religions are among Kucinich's donors"
but wait! -- "many of them attracted to the Ohio congressman's stand on less-than-mainstream issues, such as a call for a Cabinet-level Department of Peace and his support for medical marijuana." Oh. no wonder i like this guy.

Torts sounds so much like Torture...

My Torts professor is perhaps the most boring person ever to walk the face of the earth. If the planet were being invaded by malicious aliens, we need only subject them to a Torts lecture, and they would haul their little green asses back to planet X in horror.

Further, as the TA so wisely informed us, it is a great unsolved mystery as to how his pants stay up during class. He has this extremely long torso, yet the pants seem to float in midair, defying all laws of physics. The only thing more disconcerting than the creeping suspicion that gravity has no hold upon this man’s belt is finding myself staring at his navel all period.