last week, i came across an awesome deal: brand new skechers skates, exactly my size, for $5.00 on ebay. i bought them envisioning how i'd skate joyously around the skate track at the huge park next to my apartment. when they arrived, i was happy to find out that they were, indeed, brand new and exactly my size--and hot pink wheels!

but it rained all week, and i have not been able to try them out until today, when i realized that i made one small oversight in my planning---i forgot to account for the fact that i have no sense of balance.

i was three feet from my starting point the first time i fell. i fell at least four times on the way to the park, two while in front of slowly moving cars, whose occupants were no doubt laughing hysteically at me. did i mention that i skate slower than i walk?

anyway, i never made it to the park, because i realized that i don't know how to stop or turn. and whenever i get scared, i leap (face first) into the nearest mound of grass or bush. this could pose some problems at the park, where people regularly ignore the "pick up after your dog" signs.

but i shall not give up--practice makes perfect! one day, i will skate smoothly and at a normal speed. and i will be able to stop at will. meanwhile, i'll just keep repeating that to myself.

hmmm.. i think i'll go have a beer.