Top 5 Unexpected consequences of having Tim over as a houseguest for four days:

5. Being the target of silent hate-filled stares in the morning (I wake up before he does)
4. When the stares don’t elicit response, not-so-silent cries of “I HATE you and your lumpy bed!” This makes me laugh uncontrollably, annoying him even more.
3. All the cookies have disappeared
2. Ashes in all sorts of strange places
1. I just found a large pair of white briefs lying on top of my desk, next to my water glass. Am too scared to perform the smell test on them.

All this is mitigated, however, by the fact that I sometimes catch him kissing me on the forehead when he thinks I’m asleep. Sigh.